So I’m obviously extremely behind on this. I have no excuses, really besides the obvious. It got to the point that I considered just putting month 3 and 4 together into one post, but had some time tonight and figured I might as well go for it.
I passed out of the fourth trimester as Chloé hit three months. By definition, she’s now an infant and not a newborn. It also happened to fall on Mother’s Day, which was pretty cool. Anyways, enough chatter, let me get on with things I’ve learned this month. (And a half.)
1. I Have a Really Good Baby
I donno that there are actually good/bad babies, so I’m mostly going on other peoples’ attitudes here. What makes a good baby? She smiles a lot, she sleeps, she’s not super quick to cry. (And when she does it’s usually easily handled.) She’s just the type of kid that makes people want to have more. Or so I’m told. I haven’t quite hit that marker yet.
2. Getting Out is 60% of My Success
You know what’s super boring? Staying in the living room of your house in front of the TV for weeks on end. For Clo, being so new to time and what not, she lasts about three hours before she’s had enough and needs a change of scene. We can go see family or friends, shop, or even just take a walk around the neighborhood. All of it’s fine, we just have to go. This going means that for the rest of the day, naps are on time and on par for required length. Meltdowns rarely happen anymore, and I think both of us enjoy being able to get out like real, live humans.
3. Always Bring a Back-up Outfit
I’ve done this from day one, but it’s only now that Chloé is bigger that I think it’s come in handy. If she has a diaper incident or is just super wet from drool, a change is always nearby. It’s just a zip up sleeper in my diaper bag, but it means I don’t have to transfer poo from her to me to our car to the car seat to whatever surface she sits on/lays on/goes near/touches. Definately a no-lose scenario.
4. Chloé Likes Me
This is the first month where I haven’t felt as if I’m mostly just for food. She is happy to see me (and MFH), and prefers to be settled by me if she’s upset. The smiling “conversations” we have throughout the day give me hope for the future. Like most people, I know how much relationships can evolve between a parent and his/her child over a lifetime. Still, it’s nice to know that, for now at least, I’m well liked.
5. Babies Adapt
It makes sense. Like, at some point we were nomadic people and our infants had to wonder around with us. Clo can go to sleep more or less anywhere, as long as her routine is followed. She changes as we do. It doesn’t always work perfectly, but it does work out eventually.
6. I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing
So I went into my office to discuss the game plan for me getting back into work officially. Unfortunately, things with the assistants having been so great in my absence, and there is a hope that I can go into the office twice a week to make sure they’re working up to par. I considered it, especially for when MFH is off work this summer. But then Chloé did something she hadn’t before or in a way she hadn’t before and I thought, no. I don’t want to miss these little huge moments of learning she has every single day. I don’t want to miss her learning and growing. Not even for two days a week.
7. Some People are Jerks
I heard a lot about nasty people and their comments while I was pregnant. I didn’t really get much of that, and what I did was easy to ignore. I was warned far more about post pregnancy and the nonsense people love to level at you and your new baby. And it’s also true, to a degree. Most people are lovely to me, but there are a few who want me to be miserable. “Clo sleeps through the night? Well, she won’t as soon as she hits the 4-month regression.” Maybe she will and maybe she won’t, but do you really have to say it with a smile on your face?
8. I Don’t Know How to Take a Compliment
In a way, I think this makes sense. It took me an alarmingly long time to take a compliment about myself. It follows that I don’t really know how to take a compliment about my kid. But that’s not really what’s at work here. When fellow new parents make a big deal about how cute or whatever she is, I don’t know what to say. Because in my head I’m just saying, “Yes, that’s correct she IS the most adorable.” Usually I just laugh uncomfortably or shrug it off as, “It’s just because she has hair.”
9. I’m a Different Person
Maybe this should be obvious, but it sort of occurred to me last night. I’m not the same person I was before I had Chloé. I have the same interests, of course. And it’s not like my core values have changed. But last night when my options were to stay up past 9:30p and have a drink and a chat with friends or got to bed. I went to bed. And it wasn’t even like, “oh, I better not stay up or I’ll be tired tomorrow.” It was literally a, “meh, I’m tired.” Even during pregnancy I’d stay up. I’ve changed. I’m a mom.
10. Cuddle Moments
The older she gets, the less Clo wants to be cuddled and held like a newborn. She wants to see and grab and interact. But, at least a couple times a day she lets me hold her warm, tiny body against my chest and I can just breath her in. Even after all of my experiences, the good to the bad, in those cuddle moments I feel like I’m living life to the fullest. Holding my perfect little love in my arms, everything stops and the world is right. I can’t describe it any other way.
Three (and a half) months past. I’m not really certain how we got here so fast, but man am I enjoying the ride.