Last time I brought up a question. Mostly because I felt like I was in an either/or situation. Now I’m wondering if that’s the case at all.
For the last five days Clo has slept through the night in a stretch of 7 to 8 hours. I feel about as well rested as I did before I had her. (Maybe not as well rested as I was before I got pregnant, but we must be thankful for what we have…)
The earliest I’ve been able to get her to start that 7-8 hour stretch so far has been 10:30pm. But I’m starting to feel like that doesn’t matter.
I had a talk with my grandfather this morning about it. I mentioned that most people say to have babies asleep by 7pm. His response, “If you want her down at 7 and up at 7, that’s twelve hours. That’s not fair. I think 10 to 6 is pretty darn good.”
This from a man who has six children, nine grandchildren, and three great-grandchildren. I feel like I’ve been over-thinking this.
Maybe it’s the days of solid sleep, but I feel like I’ve got a new sense of clarity today. I want to be the best mom I can be, and over-thinking everything isn’t the way to do that.
It’s not like I’m under the delusion that this is the last time I freak out about a parenting option. I’m sure there will be many times down the road when I’ll over-think and over-question. But that’s okay.
And that’s the point.
I don’t know what I’m doing. None of us do. We all have different kids and we all were different kids ourselves. Yet somehow we figure it out. Because of or in spite of our parents, we grew up. We had kids of our own. And now we have to be parents ourselves.
So far, I’ve gone from thinking this is impossible to thinking this is easy and back again. Every day changes. Every moment, really. Every day holds a hundred little mini choices for me to decide. A hundred little ways to to mess up – or not.
The crazy thing is, on the 7 1/2 hours of sleep plus an 1 1/2 nap, I feel like those little choices don’t matter as much as I thought they did. Every day, every moment? I can decide to change things again. A routine today doesn’t have to be the routine tomorrow. Or the next day.
I’m taking the sleep and being thankful for it while I have it.
Who knows what happens next?