I had a meetup with local moms all due in February this week. It was really interesting.
We ran the gambit from first pregnancy, all natural, to multiple losses and using IVF. We talked about pregnancy and just normal life. It was funny to me, because it reminded me a lot of wedding planning.
While planning my wedding, I often had moments of really, really wanting to STOP TALKING ABOUT THE WEDDING. But I couldn’t. It was like a broken “off” button that I would repeatedly jam. Occasionally it would function for a few short moments of the conversation, and then would pop back to the “on” position.
I rarely felt this way with people who were married or were also going through the process of planning a wedding. With them I felt free to jump from real world topic to my wedding without censor. I’m not saying I never felt like I over talked the wedding, but I certainly wasn’t panicking in the background that I may seriously be losing the interest of some of my non-wedding centric friends. (Not that anyone ever gave me the impression that they were done with wedding talk. It’s just…you know, better to leave a party then wait for someone to ask you to leave.)
Much like that, I feel funny sometimes talking to my friends who are not quite there within the world of babies. Not that I think they won’t be interested (by some things) or even helpful (because, as I’ve said, I’ve got some pretty amazing friends), it’s more that I really don’t want every conversation they have with me to be about babies or pregnancy.
This is why the meetup was so interesting to me. We were all free to talk about whatever preggo topic we wanted to, because we were all preggo and that was our major thing in common. Three of the girls were all due within four days of me, so we were literally in the same place.
And while it was a really wonderful experience, it did occur to me later that that sort of meetup would probably be a lot more necessary after the Spawn is born. Because I won’t know what I’m doing and neither will they. And there’s something so vastly comforting about that. There’s no competition (in my mind) no “supermom” prize to be handed out at the end of the first year postpartum. There’s just a bunch of moms with a bunch of babies who are really just trying to figure things out.
It’s why this blog is so important to me. And why I feel a really strong kinship with some of my fellow bloggers out there. We may not hang out, but man would I if we lived anywhere near one another. These ladies remind me that things aren’t always perfect…and that not being perfect is absolutely, perfectly okay.
The meetup was on Tuesday night, and yesterday evening I had my monthly midwife appointment. This time I saw M2, and we talked about how I was feeling with special consideration for how crazy excited I am to have a recognizable bump. (Body image problems? What body image problems?!) M2 gave me the expected news that nothing was wrong on the anatomy ultrasound. (I knew I’d hear back earlier if there were problems.) What was a bit more expected, was her assertion that all Spawn’s vitals were actually really, really awesome.
I shared with her how crazy Spawn is about dancing around, and how the ultrasound tech had to work extra hard to get the shots she needed quickly. M2 nodded absently, but when she got the doppler out to listen to the heartbeat she started laughing. “I can actually feel baby moving, it’s making the doppler bounce.”
She told me that all of this in womb voguing was a really good sign. She also assured me that MFH would be feeling Spawn move within the next couple of weeks.
I cannot wait.