Before I get started I have to share a gem with you.
I’m big into stats. All stats really (remember, I’m a nerd?) but for the purpose of this conversation I’m referring to my blog’s stats. I love to watch who’s reading my blog from where, and how they got here. Apparently someone got to my blog by searching “False pregnancy dog,” in google.
I’m…just not sure what to make of that. I feel like whoever searched that probably didn’t know what to make of finding my blog at the end of that link, either.
But I digress.
The Spawn’s gender is quite the conversation piece of late. So far, everyone that’s “had a feeling,” has told me they think the Spawn’s a girl. I’m glad that everyone else is having feelings because I have zero intuition myself. (Which is SUPER weird for me. I tend to be all “feelings” all the time.)
I would be happy with either gender, and despite what all the books/boards seem to insist, I really don’t have a preference.
I grew up with boys and was always more comfortable around them. My mother and father both have five brothers (each), and no sisters. I only have a brother. You’d think that I’d want a boy just because I feel more prepared for boys. If you had asked me a few years ago, that probably would be the case. I had a very small group of female friends in my life growing up, and I’m only still close with one or two of them.
So why not the boy preference?
In the last few years, I’ve meet some amazing women who make me feel like gender is simply a word on a page. The love and laughter I’ve shared with these ladies has made me realize that those amazing special friendships growing up weren’t one-off cool chicks. From my bookstore buds to my lovely sisters-in-law, I am floored by how diverse and just plain powerful they all are. The idea of raising a daughter around these influences is inspiring. Not to mention that my potential daughter would be the (thus far) only daughter of an only daughter, of an only daughter.
MFH, however, has always been clear: he grew up with little sisters and loves the idea of having girls. Now, I really do believe him when he says he’d be just as happy with a boy. Still, when he gets all starry-eyed thinking about the Spawn, I know he’s daydreaming about holding a little girl.
So there is a very small part of me that would be…is relieved the correct word? Perhaps not, maybe grateful? …to have a girl first. I’m not 100% sold on having more than one child, but I can’t imagine not trying for two if the Spawn is a boy. (And yes, I realize that it’s a 50% chance each time and we could just end up with two boys.)
I wasn’t sure if this was a thing, or just one of my own crazys, until my mother admitted to something similar in her experience with my Dad. I was already in the picture when they got together, so when mom got preggo for the second time, she felt that she could just be done with having children if she had a boy. (That’s exactly what happened.)
Will I be disappointed with a boy? With only boys? Nope. I will love them all the same, and be just as happy to take them to hockey practice as I would be to take them to musical theatre rehearsal. In fact, I plan to do the same if they’re girls.
But if the Spawn and any future Spawn(s) end up all being boys, I will wonder what could have been…to see a little girl tying her daddy in knots just because she can. I don’t see that as an issue, just a natural “what if” life check.
Either way, obviously the goal is healthy and happy, but even that is a bit of a copout. It’s not like I’m not going to be overjoyed with the Spawn if he/she has autism or a medical disorder. He/She’s certainly not going to get any less love from this momma.
And for the mom’s out there that are really hoping for girls so that they can have quiet, little lovelies that play dress up and dolls…or little boys so that they can have tough little football stars…Let me just say this:
I’ve never played with a doll in my life. I don’t cook, and I can repair most minor house problems without looking them up online. My electronics always have the correct time. I can change lights, fuses, air filters and tires on a car without assistance. I’m loud, opinionated, and often inappropriate.
My husband cooks, is generally soft (and very well) spoken. He’s as likely to want to see a good stage show as he is to see a local sporting event. He has enormous respect for women, and I’ve never heard him say anything that is remotely derogatory even in jest.
So you never know what you’re going to get. I’m going to be happy either way, and so will MFH.
We’ll have our names picked out long before I know. (Or should I say we’ll have the boy name picked out, the girl name was established approximately two weeks into my relationship with MFH.) So that I won’t suddenly be like…ah…about those boy names we’ve been talking about…
The hard part is just going to be keeping the gender a secret from MFH from when I find out…until the actual birth.
A lot of his friends have asked me if I’ll tell them. I’m…hesitant. What’s the old adage? Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead? My mother and grandmother won’t really have the opportunity to spill the beans (and I’m not worried about any of MFH’s family that wants to know), but MFH’s drinking buddies? All it takes is one “He” or “She” and the cat’s out of the bag.
And then of course, one cannot forget the wisdom of my lovely girlfriend EW, who reminds us that doctors can tell you (twice) during your ultrasounds that you’re having a girl…only to end up with a boy on the delivery table.