Have you ever played Never Have I Ever? NHIE was one of those drinking games that crept up in University and seemed to stick around for awhile. It always caused silly sharing, and the more everyone drank the less we censored.
I need to take a turn with NHIE now. Why? Well, something that never occurred to me when I started on this, has now occurred to me.
I have a feeling this won’t be the first time something I haven’t anticipated will happen, but it might be the only time that it will directly effect what I write and how. I know I promised to write the whole truth, including the possibly extremely embarrassing goings on of my personal experience. I just forgot one little detail…
This isn’t just my story.
Whenever I blogged before, I used acronyms for the names of my family and friends. I doubt most of them would care if I listed their full names, but some might. So to protect the few, I used a blanket approach. I have no real qualms about embarrassing myself. The idea of causing slight discomfort to my friends, however, makes me really sad. Loyalty is too important.
So what do I do when/if I have a friend going through something that directly affects me, but talking about it could cause them great distress? Should I document my feelings, willy-nilly without a pause to wonder if I’m stepping on any toes?
What, for instance, do I do if I have a friend who isn’t having such an easy time with getting pregnant? How do I talk about my mixed feelings of wanting to help her, to hoping I don’t have her same problems, to being sincerely nervous about getting preggo successfully before her?
Do my anonymity precautions extend far enough? Should stories like this be completely removed from the rest? So that if, say, this is about Daenerys (clearly a made-up friend), and I usually call her DT…when she finds out she can never have children, I just say “a friend.” I feel like that lessens both my reactions and the validity of my friend’s heartbreak. Still, it protects everyone, right?
Maybe I just have to ask Daenerys‘ permission before I post. But if she says no, as she has every right to do, where does that leave my story in the process?
Clearly I have some soul searching to do…